Valentine’s Day: A risk assessment

valentines phoenix We’re fast approaching Valentine’s Day and lovers all over the country are scratching their heads over which romantic gesture they will offer up to their significant other. Last year, it was predicted that people in the UK would spend £1.9 billion on Valentine’s Day, embracing that one time of the year where cliché’s are commonplace. Now we’re not ones to put a dampener on that, but we would advise that you take the relevant precautions. Download the full risk assessment here!

Breakfast in bed

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Hazards/Risks

  • Scalds from hot coffee.
  • Salmonella from undercooked eggs.
  • Crumbs in bed. 

Control Measures

  • Serve coffee luke warm.
  • Use a tray to serve food. Preferably make partner wear a bib.
  • Only use eggs with red lion mark, and cook them until the yolk is black.

Buying roses

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Hazards/Risks

  • Leaving price tag on.
  • Pricked by a thorn.

Control Measures

  • Buy roses from reputable supplier and issue delivery driver with site rules, including removal of price tag.
  • Instruct delivery company to place tiny piece of cotton wool or blue tack on every thorn.
  • Alternatively, insist your partner wears robust gardening gloves all day.

Dinner reservations

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Hazards/Risks

  • Leaving it too late, resulting in exposure to extreme coldness.

Control Measures

  • Book in plenty of time.
  • Alternatively go somewhere with an awful customer rating, meaning it is unlikely to be busy.

Buying gifts

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Hazards/Risks

  • Exposure to excessive dust gathering on cuddly toys for next 10 years.

Control Measures

  • Buy something a little more creative. Cheapskate.

Booking a romantic break

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Hazards/Risks

  • Aeroplane crash.
  • Variety of deadly diseases – yellow fever, Ebola etc.

Control Measures

  • Go to Wales or Cornwall instead. No dangerous pathogens can survive in the UK in February.

Buying chocolates

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Hazards/Risks

  • Potential tooth injury from hard centres.

Control Measures

  • Only buy soft centred chocolates.
  • Have a dentist’s telephone number to hand in case of emergency.

Unrequited love

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Hazards/Risks

  • Broken heart.

Control Measures

  • Eliminate the risk – stay single all your life.